The Reintegration of Military Parents into Their Homes, by Kristina Pombrio

The Reintegration of Military Parents into Their Homes, by Kristina Pombrio

It is often a difficult time when military parents return home from war and reintegrate into their families.  This process of returning to the family life that these soldiers have been apart from for months can be stressed by soldiers’ inability to adapt their combat methods to civilian life, the strong emotions experienced between spouses, and necessary negotiations in power between spouses.

When soldiers return from home, they must first go through a reintegration process.  They undergo a mental health screen that is identical to their screening before deployment (Peterson & Doyle, 2005, p. 364).  In some situations, soldiers are rated based on their chance of diseases or mental health problems and this level of risk determines how much time (perhaps thirty or sixty minutes) they are allotted to interact with mental health providers such as “psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and chaplains” (Peterson & Doyle, n.d., p. 238).  Follow-up times are arranged as needed and individual therapy sessions as well as groups sessions tailored to the solders’ individual needs are provided if necessary.  Some possible topics to be addressed in group therapies may be “post-deployment adjustment, interpersonal process, depression,…life skills and anger management” (Peterson & Doyle, 2005, p. 364).  

Although these processes could greatly help soldiers, the solders’ eagerness to return home to their loved ones may influence what they share with their examiners.  These is because they understand that expressing weaknesses or problems could have an effect on the timing of their return home or have an effect on their future career, if they were to need significant assistance (Freedberg Jr., 2010). 

When at home, military family members must keep in mind that conditions in the civilian world are greatly different than the those at war.  Often what is acceptable on the battlefield is unacceptable in civilian life.  Kris Peterson and Michael Doyle discuss the term, “battlemind,” which “is the soldier’s inner strength and ability to face fear and adversity in combat with courage.  Components are designed to build self-confidence and mental toughness” (Peterson & Doyle, n.d., 234).  Obviously, these traits and skills are necessary on the battlefield.  However, having these same reactions in civilian life can be detrimental.  Peterson and Doyle use the example of what would be considered elevated awareness in a war zone as overly intensified sensitivity to the senses and exaggerated behavioral responses when in civilian life.  These responses would be considered violent and out of place (Peterson & Doyle, n.d., 238).  Another example of the war mindset is in interactions with between spouses.  Whereas sergeants may bark orders at their soldiers while at war, it would be considered maladaptive for husbands or wives to express themselves in the same way, while at home (Freedberg Jr., 2010).  Soldiers therefore need to transition from the completely different mindsets they require for situations.

            Soldiers bring home with them strong emotions from war.  When a sergeant from New Jersey wished to describe a soldier’s state of stress at home after returning from war she told the wives standing before her, “Soldiers in a combat zone, they forget to be sensitive.  It doesn’t mean they’re crazy, it means they’re stressed out” (Winerip, 2013).  This is a good reminder that the reactions soldiers have from previously being at war, though not always as drastic as murdering their wives or loved ones, can still significantly affect their families and confuse people they come in contact with. 

It is also important to remind family members that the emotions the soldiers are experiencing oftentimes are not directed toward them.  An example of this would be a soldier who recently had come across a dead daughter and her father.  Remembering his love for his own young daughter, this image of the dead family members greatly shocked him.  Upon returning home to the United States, the soldier became overly demanding and angry with his family members.  The wife states that she had to remember that her husband was not angry at her or their children, but at “the world.”  This helped her to forgive her husband and understand where he was coming from (Freedberg Jr., 2010).  The soldier’s bad memories from war had affected how he interacted with his family members in the United States. 

            There is also added stress in a military family due to the change in power that exists because of parental deployment.  When one of the parents is deployed, the parent who stays behind must take on more responsibilities in the home than he or she would have otherwise.  The spouses may have spent months learning how to cope with acting as single parents for their children, taking on responsibilities that both the father and mother would have otherwise shared.  Upon the return of the military parent, the civilian spouse’s efforts to do these things may not be as outwardly appreciated as the parent believes they should be.  There may also be a clash in power as the returning parent plans to take on again the roles they had had before deployment, without consideration what this will mean for their spouse, who has had this role for a while (Peterson & Doyle, 2005, p. 369). 

Recalling the different issues that soldiers may have upon returning home from time at war, soldiers and their families could benefit from a stronger reintegration process.  Clearly, even though soldiers are examined after returning from war and though they receive some assistance in areas that are addressed as needy in a soldier’s condition, the war still has a negative effect on the men and women.  It is possible that providing more time for the military spouses to receive the professional attention they need for physical and mental health before reintegrating into their families may help them be able to better cope with the changes they will need to go through mentally and socially in order to successfully return to civilian life.

References

Freedberg, S. (2010). When the troops come home. National Journal.

Peterson, K. & Doyle, M. (2005). Re-Entry and reintegration: Returning home after combat.

Psychiatric Quarterly, 76, 364-369. doi:10.1007/s11126-005-4927-z

Peterson, K. & Doyle, M. (n.d.).  Resetting the force: Reentry and redeployment.

Retrieved from https://ke.army.mil/bordeninstitute/published_volumes/combat_operational/CBM-ch18-final.pdf

Winerip, M. (2013). Joy and anticipation for soldiers’ return. New York Times.  Retrieved from

http://ic.galegroup.com/ic/whic/NewsDetailsPage/NewsDetailsWindow?failOverType=&query=&prodId=WHIC&windowstate=normal&contentModules=&mode=view&displayGroupName=News&limiter=&currPage=&disableHighlighting=false&displayGroups=&sortBy=&source=&search_within_results=&action=e&catId=&activityType=&scanId=&documentId=GALE%7CA199488635

Questions to go with this post:

1) Brainstorm some issues that spouses may have power struggles over, upon the return of a military spouse after deployment.

2) Do you think you would withhold information about your physical or mental heath from the specialists upon reintegration inspections, in order to be reunited with your family sooner? What is your view on military spouses who do this?

3) Can you think of any other examples for where a soldier's "battlemind" would harm his or her interactions in a family or in public, if he or she is unable to change their thinking to that of civilian life?